It's raining, I'm home alone, and mostly talking to myself -- maybe singing (but we keep that a secret (until I forget Peter's home (he's like a ninja))). It's been awhile since I've written anything non-school related, so I figured maybe it's time for a quick update for nobody in particular (I purposefully stopped writing so that I'd lose my audience so that I could start writing comfortably (I've been writing in parentheses far too much lately)).
Luci's so frickin' old now, it's weirding me out. Here's an example of her deliberately evil attitude: Lets say that you're brushing your teeth and you leave the toothpaste a little too close to the edge of the counter and Luci just happens to be within 12 miles of you. You better believe that before you even know she's in the room, the toothpaste is not only in her hands, but she's concentrating hard on figuring out the screw cap. Cute, the first 30 times of not learning our parental lesson, but now it's quickly become the 830th time and we're a little bemused and annoyed. So, you do the logical thing and address her as you would an adult, "Luci, you can't play with that because you'll get toothpaste all over the place." This she will ignore entirely with not so much as a glance when you say her name, so you calmly dumb it down a bit, "Luci, daddy says no." This time she'll nod her head, almost too responsive, as if there's a bit of sarcasm to the nod (can you have a sarcastic nod? Luci answers: yes). Finally, you baby it up: "Luci, no no toothpaste." This time, she'll respond "Lulu no no no toosh" and walk away, cap unscrewed, spraying toothpaste everywhere including her hair, mouth, and clothes, repeating "Lulu no no no toosh" and nodding her head.
"But Adam!" You'll say, "She's only 17 months! She doesn't understand!" And I call bullshit. She understand all too well, in fact. Exhibit A: My cell phone. She doesn't like playing with it very often because I'm always sure to put the key-guard on it before she can grab it, rendering it useless for calling 911, China, or ex-girlfriends*. One time, long, long ago, she decided that the next best thing would be to stick it in her mouth, or, because of its size, licking it like a cute little puppy (if that puppy could deceive and be evil). Well, my P key no longer works -- awesome. My response to her sticking it in her mouth? "No, Luci, that's daddy's." Words that, unfortunately, cannot be undone. Saying "no" to Luci is like handing her chapstick and believing she won't eat the entire stick in 50 seconds. So now EVERY time she gets my phone, she doesn't bother trying to hit keys or accidentally unlock it and call my co-workers, noooo, she immediately just looks at me, sticks out her tongue, and says "No no dadda" and proceeds to innocently touch the top of it to her tongue. This'll be cute for less than 2 seconds, and I'll ask for the phone, she'll respond "No no dadda" and lick it again. I'll make like I'm going to take it from her, she'll run away, lick it some more. At this point, I don't care, which annoys her. So she'll take my phone, run within 10 feet of me with her hand out, and say "Heeee" -- I'll reach for it, she'll pull back and run away, giggling, "No no dadda". Next is 5 feet, then 2, then I slap her across the face.
Okay, that last part was a lie. By slap her in the face I meant I take the phone from her and she has a 10 minute breakdown.
Fortunately, she's still cute, so the amount of evil she does is quickly diluted. She babbles a lot now, and doesn't quite have full sentences down unless you know her well (she says our neighbor Debie's name perfectly, which Debie was relieved at, because she thought Luci was scared of dark-skinned people).
As for me, I am, for once in my life, trying to get into shape. Most of you know I recently spent waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much on a bike, but I'm definitely getting my use out of it. I obsessed a little too much (and still do) over every aspect of biking, but I'm happy that I'm actually obsessing over something productive (well, I still obsess about football, which is more masochistic than productive when you're a Vikings fan). I also play basketball every weekend with my co-workers, which again certifies my mid-midlife crisis when I realize how out of shape and bad at basketball I've gotten. I hit 50 miles on my bike last week, and my attempt at 60 a few days ago failed due to a blown cleat on my biking shoes (almost die 8 times over, my shoe came unclipped riding uphill with cars whizzing by). This weeks is finals, and I have a day or two left of studying before I'm done with spring quarter. I'm taking another full-time load during summer quarter, but I'm not burnt out yet, so I don't mind (a couple of the credits are "fitness" credits that require me to do fitness related things... like bike).
Maja is good, she's working a lot more now that I'm part-time, even though I tell her she doesn't need to. Her bike arrived via UPS today (did I mention I may have talked her into getting a bike?), and she's pretty excited, but due to rain I haven't been able to finish assembling it. She's just getting over a sickness that I picked up over the weekend (and no, I don't mean the biking sickness that has enveloped my psyche for the last month or two) -- she's out with Luci running some errands (buying bedding/sheets, I'm sure) and Luci will undoubtedly randomly run off and hide from her because, well, Maja tells her not to (evil... blatantly evil).
Anyway, I'd better cut this off before I start talking about xbox or football.
Oh, and I should also mention that I'll be starting a new blog to document my bike trips around Spokane. I'll post the link as soon as my first blog is up.
*Please note: I do not have any numbers of ex-girlfriends listed in my phone, MAJA! JOKES!
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